-theme music plays. Hey I don't have the gear to make it, use your imagination.
Ginger Ginger, Gingerbread Woman.All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.
In your boots and tights,
Fighting for your rights
The hero of Folksburg
Ginger Ginger, Gingerbread Woman.
You're a wonder, Gingerbread Woman.
Staring
Sandra Bullock as Gingerbread Woman
Paris Hilton as the Commissioner
David Hasslehoff as Dr Groovy
Guest Starring Ed O'Neil as The Anti-Feminist
And Introducing Warren Schnieder as Gunter
Its a new day in the metropolis of Folksburg. And our hero Gingerbread Woman is enjoying a peacful day.
"Its such a nice day here in Folksburg isn't Gunter." Gushes our pretty hero"Yeah. Its... Ugh! Do I really have to say this? Ok. Gingerific Gingerbread Woman." replies Gunter our heroes plucky Australian sidekick.
"Oh my cellular phone is ringing. Who could it be?" Gingerbread Woman answers her phone. "Its Doctor Groovy. He wants us to meet him at his lab. C'mon Gunter time to Ginger up!"
"You do know what that means in the racehorse industry don't you?" comments Gunter.
Soon at the lab of Doctor Groovy.
"Thank you for coming Gingerbread Woman." greets Doctor Groovy"As always its a pleasure Doctor Groovy." replies the Gingerbread Woman.
"choke! Hahahah!" laughs Gunter.
"I called for you because we have a come upon a most unique device." continues the good Doctor.
"Wow! It looks like a TV remote. How dumb do I have to be in this show?" remarks Gunter."Ha ha! Gunter its more powerful than a simple remote." replies Doctor Groovy. "This remote in the wrong hands could cause chaos like the world has never seen."
"Are you sure its real?" asks the woman of ginger.
"I personally tested the device and believe me its real." assures Dr. Groovy with a wry smile.
Elsewhere in Folksburg. At the abandoned Ginger beer factory somethings brewing. Trouble!"Well my brothers we have just received word that the Ultimate Remote has been found." declares the villain.
"Yeah!" cheers the t-shirted crowd.
"Its being held in the lab of Dr Groovy. We will gain what is rightfully the property of. The Anti-Feminist." shouts The Anti-Feminist.
Oh no! It looks like Folksburg is going to be HARASSED by this new villain.
Can Gingerbread Woman SAY NO to the power of the Ultimate Remote.
Will The Anti-Feminist PRESS the right buttons.
Meanwhile back at the Gingerbread House our hero is enjoying her favourite pastime."Oh how I do like to get a tan Gunter." says our hero.
"Ok this script was written but some drunken frat boys wasn't it." complains Gunter.
Beep Beep Beep!
"Oh no its the -sigh!- Ginger-phone." exclaims the plucky Australian. "And why am I plucky?"
"Yes Commissioner Hilton. Whats the problem?" Enquire's The Gingerbread Woman."Gingerbread Woman the Ultimate Remote has been stolen by the Anti-Feminist." answers the Commissioner. "If he's not stopped every woman in Folksburg will be under his control."
"Gunter to the Ginger-mobile." commands our maiden of justice.
"Oh yeah thats believable." gripes Gunter. "Paris is the Commissioner. Can anyone say High Concept."
Later outside the abandoned Ginger beer factory.
"Now my plucky Aussie sidekick we're going to have to disguise ourselves to infiltrate The Anti-Feminist's lair." explains Gingerbread woman.
"And how are we going to do that Gingerbread Woman?" asks Gunter. "I'm just eye candy aren't I?"
"Your going to pose as one of The Anti-Feminists drunken disenfranchised goons." replies our Hero. "And I'm going as your trailer trash girlfriend."
"Wow! Your a master of disguise Gingerbread Woman!" exclaims Gunter
"Tut tut Gunter its Mistress of disguise." corrects Gingerbread Woman. "Poor grammar is as much a crime as graffiti or doing drugs."
Inside the factory there's a party brewing.
"Ok Gunter the plan is simple get the remote and then get out of here." advises the well disguised Gingerbread Woman.
"Its Gingerbread Woman and Gunter. Grab them!" shouts the Anti-Feminist.
"How did you see through our disguises?" demands Gingerbread Woman.
"Only a goody two shoes like you would think trailer trash dressed like that. Bwhahahahahaha!" laughs the evil villain. They tie up our heroes and put them in one of the old Ginger beer stills.
"Well Gunter it looks like we're in a sticky situation?" exclaims our hero
Is Gingerbread woman about to get hosed.
"Thats it! I've had enough with the jokes, the stupid narrator and the double entendre's." Gunter breaks his ropes. Gunter punches the still's wall and amazingly it cracks open like and egg.
"Hang on this isn't in the script we're not supposed to escape till page 12." declares Gingerbread Woman.
Gunter ignores the maid of justice and strides forward.
"Get him my drunken minions." commands the Anti-Feminist.
But they are no match for the plucky Australian who flings the minions around like dolls.
"Again with the plucky. Don't you have another adjective other than plucky." screams Gunter. Gunter gets to the podium and grabs the Ultimate Remote from the Anti-Feminist. "All of this over some stupid remote so you can control women. Just how desperate are you man?" asks Gunter. "Look you'll thank me for this, one day."
Crunch! the remote is crushed in Gunters right hand."Well maybe you wont thank me then." says Gunter.
Later at the Gingerbread house.
"Well done Gunter." Congratulates Gingerbread Woman. "Your quick thinking saved all the women of Folksburg."
"Yes I know the Commissioner is picking me up at 7pm to thank me personally." smiles Gunter.
"Well don't stay up too late." cautions Gingerbread Woman. "A good crime fighter always needs his sleep."Well see you next Week.
Same Gingerbread time.
Same Gingerbread channel.
2 comments:
If there was a movie about my life, Sandra Bullock could definitely play the part of me.
I would pay to see that.
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