Saturday, September 1, 2007

Operation Dirt Digging

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I’m not exactly a spy. Nor can I gather anything on a world wide conspiracy. Well, except one. The Illuminati. These guys have dirt like none other. Unfortunately for them, recently the leader and I got into a fight, and the leader came up a day late and a head short.

So my only choice was gone.

Until I realized…

There were bigger Fish to fry.

Bigger Super powered fish!

Time to dig up some dirt on Superman. The easiest way to do that? Shift into Supergirl. Which meant I had to find Supergirl and steal some of her hair or something. So, I went through the old rooms here… Finally I found some blonde hair, and I grabbed it, most appreciatively and I morphed into- Well, whoever it was, wasn’t Supergirl.

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When I exited the room, and walked to the Computer, I clicked it on, hit twenty buttons and finally said “Hello?”

Johnathan Jones, The Martian Manhunter answered, “Rima?” He asked.

“I know not of what you speak of chico,” I responded.

“Rima, are you okay, you’ve been gone since the 80’s? You’re looking good though.”


“What’s wrong?”

“I’m looking for Superman.”

“He’s at the Daily Planet, ask for Clark Kent.”

Wait a second! Superman has an Alias? And it’s a reporter?! This is good dirt!

“Thanks Johnny.” I responded, and I jumped outside. As soon as I did, there was an Elephant waiting. Not an Elephant I made nor Summoned, he was just waiting there for me.

I hopped on, and road downtown. Surprisingly enough the people didn’t care an Elephant was in traffic with them. I arrived at the Daily Planet and went inside. At the receptionist desk I got, “Hello. I bet you’re here for Clark? He’s up stairs.”

I went to the elevator, and I waited in it. A man was staring at me, “Take a picture chico it will last longer.”

- -

Once I got to Clark’s Office, I opened the door, and he smiled, “Rima! It’s good to see you! How have you been, you look great, as young as ever.”

“Superman?” I asked.

He laughed, “Shh- Remember? That’s a secret… You’re looking really good, do you remember that time we went up the Amazon to stop Starfire from changing all of the albino dolphins into killing machines?”


He raised his eyebrow, “Thousand Faces – Get out. Out Out Out!!!!”

And that’s how I got kicked out of the Daily Planet.

- - -

When I returned to the Hall of Justice. I found Anakin Skywalker, still in the form of Rima, and I yelled, “Anakin! Guess what?!”

“What, yo?”

“I found some Dirt on Superman!”

“Really? What is it?”

“By day he pretends to be Clark Kent, Mild Mannered Reporter!”

“Chick-Yo… We all knew that already… I think everybody in the world knows that… Way to go there Wild Girl.”

I sighed heavily. That was a waste of my energy… There is just no dirt on Superman. I walked back to my room, and tripped on a Box labeled, “Superman – Secrets” I just didn’t care…

Find some dirt on Superman – Failure.

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1 comment:

Jan the Intergalactic Aviator said...

Doesn't he keep his family jewels in that trunk?

You know, those glowing Kryptonian crystal things?