The Ballad of Mick Dundee

Hi I'm Kris Kirsstofferson. I'm here to tell you a tale. A tale of bravery, courage and beer. This here's the tale of the last ride of Crocodile Dundee.

Our story starts with this guy. His names Warren Schnieder AKA Crater.

Now Warren was on a reality TV show
And he'd gotten further than Xavier you know
And they'd set a task for him to complete

At a crazy house for sick heroes
Warren was supposed to deal-o
with a hero who been through a rough patch

Well Warren was quite surpised
when shown before his hung-over eyes
the patient for him that'd been selected

Standing before Warren proud as gravy
was a hero straight from the Eighties
Mick The man known as Crocodile Dundee

Warren uttered a few expletives
Which cause of our G-Rating had to be deleted
When he greeted the old Croc hunter.

"I'd reply the same" responded Mick
In an Aussie accent think. "But I can't these days.
Cause they tell me its not right."

"Your kidding me!" said Warren in good cheer.
"Next thing you say you've given up beer."
To which Mick just slowly nodded.

Now Mick explained to young Warrens horror
Of how to this Asylum he had gotten
and why his Australian nature had been curtailed

It seems that after 9-11
Mick found himself put in detention
Thats right he was sent to Guantanamo

It was there that surgeons with evil intentions
placed in Mick's brain an invention
a computer chip to curb his larakin ways

So now he was placed here in this Asylum
To spend his day in enforced retirement
Waiting till the Reaper takes his soul

Now Warren's anger was all ablaze
That Mick had been left here to decay
Said Warren "I'm getting you out of here right now."

And summoning his telkinetic aura
The doors to Mick's room were torn asunder
Said Mick in reply "Mate they weren't locked."

Warren strode into the Asylum's halls
Sirens blasting out their calls
Emergency a patient is escaping

"Hang on mate. I'm not the only one.
There are others." Mick told Warren
"Where." was Warrens gruff reply.

The two made their way through the Asylum
Dealing with security as they found them
Collecting up the patients who'd been wronged







The Golden Girls, Number 5
Black Vulcan and The Samurai
Were the ones freed on that great day

With the chips removed by Number 5
The escapees got back to their lives
Most thankful for Warren's intervention

Now Mick's back in his Outback home
From where on now he'll never roam
Cause he says its safer to just stay put

And Mick and Warren did have that beer
And a fair few more, but there's no fear
There Australians and thats just the way they like it

Well thats the tale of Mick Dundee
And Warren's hoping for immunity
Cause this ballad we all think is a winner

* thanks to http://fanzone50.com for the david wenham pics