Noel: CRAZY BIRD

A Super Pet? Why do I need a Super Pet. I mean I am part cat and I have some powers, why can't I be my own pet. But Superman said I needed to pick out a pet.

When I went into the room there were critters every where. The first thing I see was a group of dogs playing on a couch.



Then I spotted a couple of lazier pooches:

This one is all sprawled out like it died .


And this one looks like he fell asleep while watching TV.


Then I see some cats.


Are you sure these are super pets?

Maybe this one is?



I even spot some mice.





Before I can move on to see what else there is, I hear a very loud squawk and I am suddenly attacked.



It takes me a minute to get it off of me. I then hold it out in front of me being careful not to get bitten. I tell it to calm down, hoping it could understand me.

"Calm down, calm down, how can I calm down when you are holding me like this? Your going to eat me aren't you. I know you are, you big fu****g cat."

Wow the birds got a potty mouth. "Well I wouldn't have to hold you like this if you weren't trying to attack me. I'm not going to eat you, I promise."

"Like hell you won't eat me. Your a fu****g cat, and a giant one at that. And what do giant cat's eat. Big birds like myself. I should have pecked your fu****g eyes right out of the sockets when I had the chance."

*sigh* "I swear I won't eat you......." I was going to continue but I was interrupted by Superman.

"So I see you got your pet picked out."

"What my pet, this bird. Ohhhh Nooooo. This thing attacked me. And it wants to eat my eyes. I don't want this crazy bird as my Super Pet."

"Well you are holding the bird and times up for finding your pet, so you are stuck with the bird"

"Times up? We were timed? I didn't know..." I shake my head and look at the bird in my hands.

"Well that's too bad. You will be assigned Chubbs Macaw as your pet."

"Come on please, let me pick another pet. I'll take anything else, even the cat that scratches himself. Please, anything but this crazy bird." But Superman just walk away.

"What the hell, don't I have say in any of this. I don't want to stay with this fu****g crazy cat lady. She is going to eat me."

"I"M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU. I yell. By now everyone has left. I sighed again "Look, I swear I won't eat you. I even have a bird like you back home. Maybe if you behave I'll let you meet her. But for now we are stuck together, so deal with it okay."

Chubbs looked at me, thinking it over. "Do you have a picture of this bird of yours?"

"In fact I do. But I need to let you go, so no biting okay."


"Fine, whatever ." I let him go and he climbs up my arm and sits on my shoulder. I pull out a picture of Daisy.



Chubbs whistles, "Wow, that's one hot chick, I wouldn't mind seeing her nest."

"Yeah well, like I said before. If you behave I'll let you meet her."

"You have a deal." He gave me a foot and we shake on it.



As I head up stairs to my room, I ask "So what kind of powers do you have?"

"Well I can talk, dumb a**."

I nod, "Anything else?"

"I'm smart, I fly, and I can attack when I think someone is a threat to myself."

"I know, but is that it. I mean are you super strong or maybe you can blow fire or move things with your mind."

"NO you stupid bi**h, I can't do any of that. I'm better and smarter then your average Parrot, is that not enough. So I may not be the best fu****g super pet there is. Just deal with it."

"Okay, sorry." I think I hit a nerve.



And that's how we met. So far this week had it's ups and downs. I found out he likes to watch me shower, fricking perverted bird. And when I took him to the pet store to get him some toys and stuff, he kept on whistling at all the girls. I nearly got into a fight with a lady who thought I had whistled at her. It wouldn't be so bad if he whistled at the guys. But he said he don't go that way.

But he has his cute moments. For instance he likes to play hide and seek out side on my roof top patio.

Even though half the time he is so easy to see.

He also sings and does all sorts of tricks and he LOVES to dance.


Here is Chubbs dancing.


But he still has the tendency to attack others who come into my room uninvited. So I had to put up a sign to warn the others.