As soon as I heard there was another reality game show starting, I submitted my application as quickly as I could. Believe this or not, I actually lost on both seasons of Last Gladiator Standing. Me! Lost! I know it sounds crazy but you'll just have to suspend you disbelief.
I arrived at the Hall of Justice, a sort of Deco / International style building that might once have been an impressive structure but has obviously since fallen into ruin. An odd looking little man came out of a side door to greet me. I checked the mini-sidewinder launch controls on my combat mode hover chair.
As he hurried up to me, he checked his clip board. "Professor Xavier?" he asked with a slightly confused voice.
"Yes," I answered.
"Oh, er, I was told that, um, you could, uh . . walk. You see it's just that, uh, the Hall isn't really handicap accessible. It was built back in the 50s."
"Oh. I see. You, um, heard about my walking, eh? Alright then."
I was hoping my secret might give me an advantage but since the cat was out of the bag, as they say, I stood up and walked inside. The toadie lead me into the Hall's gift shop.
A crabby looking old crone hobbled over to me. "This is Professor Xavier," the toadie told her.
"Eh?" she screeched.
"Professor Xavier!' he said much louder. "Of the X-men!"
"Oh!" she answered. "The shuper-hero." She slurred her words slightly. I think she was drunk. "You'll be whantin' a cape then," she told me.
She pointed a gnarled finger into the changing room and handed me a large plastic clothes bag, obviously full of something. I opened it and saw an outfit. It did not looked promising. None-the-less, with my determination to win this show, I donned the suit and emerged from the changing booth.
"Er . . no offense, madam," I said, "but I don't think this is quite me. Is there perhaps an alternate outfit?" To make sure she heard me, I also communicated telepathically with her.
"What do you mean?" she screeched. "It has a cape. The underwear is on the outside. It's perfect."
"Yes, but, perhaps you have another?"
With a sigh, she grabbed another clothes bag and I quickly entered the booth to change.
"Well Mr. Fussypants?" she asked. "Is that good enough?"
"Um, actually . . it's a little . . well . . I don't really wear the spandex. Perhaps there's something a little more . . conservative?"
"Forget it! This ishn't a library! You'll take what you get and like it!"
With that I reached into her mind and put her to sleep. I then put my suit back on and grabbed a cape. That will have to do.
I walked outside to the parking lot and a shuttle took me to a furniture store. I picked out a few items and headed back to the Hall as they were delivered. The toadie greeted me in the parking lot and escorted me to my room. This is what I found.
Must have been Aquaman's. At least that stuffed dinosaur arrived. This is going to be a long show.
I arrived at the Hall of Justice, a sort of Deco / International style building that might once have been an impressive structure but has obviously since fallen into ruin. An odd looking little man came out of a side door to greet me. I checked the mini-sidewinder launch controls on my combat mode hover chair.
As he hurried up to me, he checked his clip board. "Professor Xavier?" he asked with a slightly confused voice.
"Yes," I answered.
"Oh, er, I was told that, um, you could, uh . . walk. You see it's just that, uh, the Hall isn't really handicap accessible. It was built back in the 50s."
"Oh. I see. You, um, heard about my walking, eh? Alright then."
I was hoping my secret might give me an advantage but since the cat was out of the bag, as they say, I stood up and walked inside. The toadie lead me into the Hall's gift shop.
A crabby looking old crone hobbled over to me. "This is Professor Xavier," the toadie told her.
"Eh?" she screeched.
"Professor Xavier!' he said much louder. "Of the X-men!"
"Oh!" she answered. "The shuper-hero." She slurred her words slightly. I think she was drunk. "You'll be whantin' a cape then," she told me.
She pointed a gnarled finger into the changing room and handed me a large plastic clothes bag, obviously full of something. I opened it and saw an outfit. It did not looked promising. None-the-less, with my determination to win this show, I donned the suit and emerged from the changing booth.
"Er . . no offense, madam," I said, "but I don't think this is quite me. Is there perhaps an alternate outfit?" To make sure she heard me, I also communicated telepathically with her.
"What do you mean?" she screeched. "It has a cape. The underwear is on the outside. It's perfect."
"Yes, but, perhaps you have another?"
With a sigh, she grabbed another clothes bag and I quickly entered the booth to change.
"Well Mr. Fussypants?" she asked. "Is that good enough?"
"Um, actually . . it's a little . . well . . I don't really wear the spandex. Perhaps there's something a little more . . conservative?"
"Forget it! This ishn't a library! You'll take what you get and like it!"
With that I reached into her mind and put her to sleep. I then put my suit back on and grabbed a cape. That will have to do.
I walked outside to the parking lot and a shuttle took me to a furniture store. I picked out a few items and headed back to the Hall as they were delivered. The toadie greeted me in the parking lot and escorted me to my room. This is what I found.
Must have been Aquaman's. At least that stuffed dinosaur arrived. This is going to be a long show.
6 comments:
Nice room, man.
Excellent costume choice! Very classy. Besides, that second one has some kind of weird drawn-on bustier that made it look like you had bosoms. *shudder*
Since when could you walk? Has the whole world turned upside down?
Yes when were you going to reveal this Charles?
Hang on is he chaning the rules again to suit him. I thought we had to wear what the designer gives us?
I am kind of wondering that too... I wouldn't be in this fake... Ridiculous costume if I could do that.
Good Luck
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