Spongebob, D.I.Y and Disco

I arrive at the Hall of Justice late. I missed the connection from LA. I also had to fly coach. Bloody Justice League cheapskates.
So I get there and Superman tells me to meet with a designer who's supposed to make me a new costume.
"New costume?" I ask. "I already have a uniform. I don't need a new one." He tell's me its part of the competition and then I have to go to some hardware store in this new get up. I ask why I'm supposed to go to the hardware store and Supes says I have to do some DIY on my room.
I get there and this is what it looks like.

"Who's room was this?" I ask.
"Ummm! I think it was Black Vulcan's." answers the big blue cheese. "Your costume designer is waiting."

So I rush to meet the designer. My old man used to tell me about a mate of his he called a bit queer. This guy wasn't just a bit queer. This guy was "As camp as a pink tent".
"Hello Warren or can I call you Crater." he gushed.
"Warren will do. And your name is?" I enquire.
"Oh please call me Dougie." He told me.
"So how are you going to make this costume, Dougie?" I asked. I was hoping for something good. I had to be on a winner here. Gay guys have great taste, especially in spandex.
"Oh I didn't make the costume. I'm only here to critique the work of my students." He leans over and whispers in my ear. "The Justice Leauge couldn't afford my services, they could barely pay my appearance fee."
"So who's making it?" I ask.

"Ralph is." says Lauren.

Ralph wasn't gay. In fact Ralph was barely human.
Ralph gave me the suit. I didn't like it. I didn't even know who it was.

"Its Spongebob Squarepants. He's cool." answered Ralph.

Humiliation seems to be what all the others went through so I'd say I'm in for some too.

I get to the Home Depot and its very orange. The only way I could get anymore Orange was to be in a Home Depot in Orange (Orange is a town in country NSW).

Then came the Heckler's.
"Hey dude Halloween is in October." shouted one.
"Does your Mommie know your here?" caled another.
"Get a life." I reply. Which of course reveals my accent and my nationality.
"Hey you better go home Ozzie-boy. I think a dingo's got your baby." called out the heckler.
"Yeah real smart. Mate." I warn him with a nice deep Mate. Which every Australian male knows translates to - Stop bugging me or I might smash your face in. Of course these guys don't know that. So they keep on going.
"You gonna buy a Barbie and throw a shrimp on it." he calls out.
"Hey, mate, I like shopping the way you like having sex - alone." I yell back.
The crowd (which has grown because of the tv cameras recording this) applauds my retalliation. The Hecklers get into a huddle and whisper amoung themselves.
"What are you doing here? The Mardi-Gras' in Sydney mate." they yell out in unison.
"What am I doing here? In half an hour your Mum." I reply.
Game, set and match.

Now to get some stuff to retro the room.
Discoball - Check
Retro Home Bar - Check (it came with Dancing Eastern European Bargirls for extra $200, Bargin)
Kangaroo Skin rug - Check
Of course I then had to get a dinosaur. I hung it the wall. I call him spike.

A home away from Home.