I blew up your mother.....ship

That Earth-2 Superman's a grumpy old bloke. He and my Grandad'd get along like a house on fire. In fact it was my Grandad who gave me the best advice I ever got about the super-hero gig.
"Warren your too dumb to be a scientist, too slack to hold downa real job. Thank Christ you got these powers. Without them you'd be as useless as Tits on a Bull."

Good old Grandad. Its advice like that that makes me feel good about sending him to that nursing home, in Siberia.

So its on to the alien invasion.

-Yawn-

Fight them in the air, fight them on the groud. You know that sounds familiar. Thats right Winnie the Pooh said it. That yellow bear was quite the fighter when he was young. These days he's a shadow of the bear he used to be. Damn military drug testing.

So I take one of the Justice League Javelin-7's. I can fly anything thats supposed to fly, and the occasional thing that shouldn't. The info on the invasion force is that its stationed on the dark side of the moon. Cliche city. Its like Pink Floyd were channeling the invasion plans as a warning for us all.

I round the moon at sub-light speeds

"Beep beep" the proximity alert sounds. Fighters three of them. Just the advance party.
"Hope they don't mind me crashing?" I quip to myself. I take out the first two fighters, and the third runs away. I give chase. Bad idea. Fighters come from mother ships, and this mothers a big one. I turn to leave and I'm caught.
"Great Obi-Wan Kenobi's ghost! A f***ing tractor beam!" I shout.
'Please refrain from swearing or Batman will wash your mouth out.' announces the Javelin-7.
No time to argue, I turn up the engines to 11. The Javelin-7 strains against the tractor beam, no way I'm giving up without a fight. Then the engines give out. The Big Fat Mother ship looms larger as I get drawn in. I look at the control pannel and theres a button labeled Cockpit Release. Oh well its got to be better than getting probed. I press the button.
A claxon warning goes and the cockpit seals from the rest of the ship. A few whirs and clicks then and then an almighty blast as the cockpit detaches from the rest of the ship. I try to manouvre the mini-Javelin and its not in the tractor beam. Success! I turn the mini-Javelin around to see the rest of the Javelin-7 being drawn into the Mother Ship.
"If only I could blow up the rest of the Javelin-7!" I mutter out loud.
'Emergency Self-destruct initiated.' responds the Mini-Javelin.
"No Shit you can do that?" I ask amazed.
'Affirmative. And please refrain from swearing or Batman will wash your mouth out.'
I get the 'Heck' out of there and listen as the Mini-Javelin counts down.
'3, 2, 1. Self-destruct confirmed. Alien mother ship has been eliminted.'
"Well that was bloody easy." I announce proudly.
'Please refrain from swearing or Batman will wash your mouth out.' announces the Javelin-7.
"Yeah we'll get to that later. Now back to earth." I plot the course to the Alien base chosen for me. Its in New Zealand. Why would Aliens put a base on New Zealand all there is sheep, snow and people who barely speak english.
'Warning! Warning! Cockpit cannot survive re-entry!' warns the mini-javelin.
"As if I care. I'm indi-bloody-structable." I tell the mini-javelin.
'Please refrain from swearing or Batman will wash you mouth out.' announces the Javelin-7.
"I'd like to see him try!" I answer, struggling with the controls to keep the now melting craft on course for the alien base.
A huge explosion happens somewhere outside. Then the controls stop responding. I was just about smash my way out when another explosion wiped out what was left of the mini-Javelin. I open my eye's and I'm falling at terminal velocity towards the southern island of New Zealand.

Oh well nothing much more to do than wait the remaining minutes till I hit.